Friday, March 30, 2007

what a life

who am i?
what a life.

{ 12:22 PM

Monday, March 26, 2007

ok...

i swear, saturday really wasn't a good day, at least for me. ban chuan was just talking to me about the various things i need to change, what the cellgroup need to change in different areas and i know he was really very frustrated. and the worse had to come after that, i just don't know what to say.

And sunday wasn't any better, overslept. supposed to report at 9am for my ministry, but i woke up at 930am. i just sat straight up, thinking shit late again? its the 2nd time, but the first time i really forgot and had to do make up the following week.any way, normally i use my mobile to be my alarm clock, but i left it with jerry. so i decided to use my dad's phone, but wow, he would take it back in the morning. so i confronted him, and sort of raised my voice at him, i felt really really bad cause he told me he actually tried to wake me up twice! after that he gave me quite an amount of money to take cab. so sweet of him right! to think i actually can't keep my cool just for awhile.

i hate my temper. i hate my brain. life is great? good grief.

{ 12:19 AM

Saturday, March 24, 2007

emo.

i am in the e-mo period of my life. cant seem to pick my mood up. ):

argh, i want to watch the phantom of opera! my sister said the seatings for the musical during April is almost sold out. we have to wait till May, i mean thats like so long. and it's my sister's exam period i think. sigh, and dear is not gonna watch with me! he said he's just going to fall asleep. wow.

change me, Father, please.

Bamboo without mind, yet sends thoughts soaring among the clouds.
Standing on the lone mountain, quiet, dignified, it typifies the will of a gentleman.
- Written by Wu Chen, chinese painter.

{ 10:56 AM

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

life

i need a life.
i need friends.
i miss my friends.

i feel so dreadful of everything.
argh, i want to scream!

Oh God Father, save me. tell me, my heart is lost in my dreamland.

His forty-third year. His small time's end. His time-
Who saw Infinity through the countless cracks
In the blank skin of things, and died of it.
-A.S. Byatt, Possession

{ 9:44 PM

Thursday, March 15, 2007

tired

back at PIAS again! weird huh, i heard its because of the new permanent staff they hired who is still under probation. my colleagues called the sotong behind her back.

i feel so exhausted, feel like everything is crashing down on me. what's happening, i'm not myself anymore. my temper is getting worse. my brain is so packed with thoughts after thoughts, that i think its gonna burst. was praying to God while walking to my workplace, Lord lead me to the right pathway that i will not let be mad enough to i kill whoever who is in my way.

please don't piss me off any more, you are not the only one.